


We Belong Together

by lotorotor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Ficlet Collection, Full Moon, I have feelings okay, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot Collection, dementors and Azkaban mentioned, reunited, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-04-27 07:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14420625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotorotor/pseuds/lotorotor
Summary: A collection of wolfstar ficlets because I have a lot of feelings for these boys.The first one has Sirius waking from his sleep, unable to put a finger on why he feels a sense of foreboding.As more are added, a lot of them will have angst. Some will be more lighthearted.





	1. Come Back to Bed

Sirius stirred from his sleep, a feeling of wrongness itching his bones. Blearily, he flipped onto his side and blinked at Remus’ empty bed, the blankets just as straight and pristine as though a house elf had just passed through. A small frown settled on his face and he rolled out of the bed, carefully searching the dormitory with his eyes. Remus was no where to be seen.

  
“Lumos.” The 16 year old boy muttered, shining the light around the floor until he found James’ robes. He rummaged through the pockets until his fingers brushed a familiar piece of parchment. Quietly pulling it out, he tapped his wand to the parchment and muttered “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” Black ink blossomed across the page, revealing an intricate map of Hogwarts. Young eyes scanned the page, frantically searching until he found the label bearing the name of his friend. The black dot that belonged to Remus was resting on the astronomy tower. Sirius’ breath caught in his throat. Not worrying about any rules, he stumbled out of the dormitory, down the stairs, and through the portrait hole. He skittered through the school, trying to be quiet as he hurried along. After what felt like two eternities, the boy finally reached the tower. He glanced back at the map to confirm that the dot hadn’t moved, then leaned against the entrance to both catch his breath and survey the scene. His eyes landed on the scruffy back of his friend Remus, who was leaning against the edge of the tower, eyes trained at the sky. Sirius’ heart picked up in pace. He was just really worried about his friend. Trying to find a balance between being reasonably quiet but not sneaky, Sirius crossed the tower until he was standing next to the other boy, who showed no sign of noticing him.

  
“You’re staring at the moon.” Sirius commented, worried eyes trained on his friend.

  
“Yeah.” Remus replied, not a single muscle moving so that Sirius wasn’t completely convinced that he had spoken.

  
“Please come sleep.” Sirius placed a hand on his arm. Remus finally broke his gaze away from the heavens to glance down at where he touched him. Immediately he looked back up to the sky.

  
“It’s almost full.” His voice wavered with a note of fear.

  
“Remus.” Sirius gently tugged on his arm. “Please.”

  
“What if this is the time I mess up and bite one of you?” The fear and despair became more pronounced in the teenagers words.

  
Sirius relented from trying to pull Remus away in favor of settling a comforting hand on his shoulder, thumb rubbing in circles. “That’s why we became animagi, you dolt. You’re not going to bite us or anyone else. We- I’m going to take care of you, just like always.”

  
Remus tore his eyes from the moon to look Sirius full in the face. “What if something goes wrong?”

  
“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep worrying so much.”

  
“Sirius-” but the black haired boy placed a finger on Remus’ lips.

  
“Nothing bad’s going to happen. I’d die before I let it.” Sirius said with such conviction as could only be mustered in the middle of the night, when inhibitions were at their lowest.

  
Remus’ shoulders sagged with the weight of being a teenage werewolf in a world that could only reject him. As though acting of their own accord, his arms lifted and threw themselves around his friend. Slightly taken aback, Sirius hesitated for a moment before gently hugging Remus back.

  
“I think I love you.” The werewolf admitted. Sirius’ heart froze before returning to race through his chest like a spooked horse.

  
“You idiot. Come back to bed, okay?” He spoke in the only language he knew how, but both boys knew exactly what he meant.


	2. Symbol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sirius Black is a romantic sap and something simple comes to mean so much to two boys.

They were 16 years old and they were in love. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were two teenagers who had chosen to hold each other tight and face the world together.

It was a weekend visit to Hogsmeade, walking down the street hand in hand, when Sirius saw them in the window of a tiny shop. Two bracelets made of delicate beads, one with glittering stars, the other with luminous moons. There was nothing special about them, except that they seemed to call for the two boys. Sirius entered the shop without hesitation and purchased the bracelets, a delighted smile on his face. He presented the one made of stars to his boyfriend, who was moved by the romantic gesture.

After that day, the bracelets never left the boys’ wrists. If they happened to be separated, each boy could be seen fondling the celestial beads.

During the brief moments when Sirius was with his family that summer, the moon beaded bracelet gave him the hope and comfort he needed to finally run to the Potter’s house, to a place he knew he could be loved. Remus stroked the star shaped beads and thought often of his lover before the sweet relief of being reunited.

When the young boys were thrust into war, the bracelets were a constant reminder of what they were fighting for. They were a beacon of hope, and a source of strength for the couple. They reminded them that they had a reason to live and a reason to fight.

When rumors of a spy emerged, two pairs of eyes stared at the bracelets that had brought so much hope, so much comfort. Dark thoughts of doubt crossed two weary minds. Who was the spy? Certainly not the subject of their affections? How could they be sure? Sirius and Remus regarded each other with suspicion, kissed each other less, and both wondered if the other withdrawing affection was proof that they were the spy among friends. The bracelets were worn more as a habit and not as much for comfort and love.

Halloween arrived and James and Lily died. A grief filled Sirius went after Peter, the one he now knew was a rat to his core, determined to get revenge, answers, something. And when Peter “died”, Sirius cackled, knowing that he was done for, that the rat was gone.

In Azkaban, Sirius kept the bracelet close. It no longer brought him happiness or comfort, but it kept him sane, proof that he was innocent. It was a reminder of all that he’d lost, and he grew to hate it. Sometimes, in a fit of emotion, he’d chuck it against the wall, though as the years passed he lost strength to do little more than stare at it.

Remus Lupin found out what happened that Halloween night, and came to the same conclusion as everyone else, though it pained him more than anyone else. The bracelet became a reminder that the one he’d loved had betrayed him, had led to the murder of his dearest friends, was not the same person he’d thought he was. Shortly after the incident, Remus found himself walking alongside a river, found himself contemplating throwing himself into the waters and ending his misery. The glint of the starry bracelet stopped him, though this time the sight of it filled him with grief and rage. Ripping it from his wrist, he threw it with all his strength and watched the current whisk the bracelet away. He broke down, knelt in the mud, and sobbed.

Over a decade passed. Sirius discovered that Peter Pettigrew was going to Hogwarts, where his godson was. The lunar bracelet shimmered and Sirius knew he had to save Harry.

And then Remus Lupin found himself standing in the much too familiar Shrieking Shack, the only thing staving off the onslaught of memories being that his old love Sirius was much too old and James - Harry - was much too young. Not to mention the faces that had never been with him in the Shack before.

The pieces of the puzzle came together. Sirius confirmed that it was true. Remus noticed the bracelet hanging on the skeletal wrist. And a tsunami of relief washed over the now middle aged man.

For the first time in 12 years, he held Sirius in his arms. Not everything was right, but things were definitely better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, more content can be found at my tumblr 12dancingwizards


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus are both traumatized children with nightmares.
> 
> This one has some angst so... yeah

Sirius had nightmares

In his dreams he was backed against a wall, the shadows of his parents looming over him, telling him again and again how worthless he is, punctuating their sentences with fists and paddles. He couldn’t fight back. He was trapped.

Remus had nightmares

In his, he was a monster. A growling, gruesome beast and at his feet lay the bodies of his parents, his friends, his teachers, even random people whose names he didn’t know. Blood dripped from his jaw and bits of flesh were stuck to his claws. No matter how he cried, he couldn’t stop his own rampage. He was trapped inside himself.

One night, both boys found themselves awake and shaking from another onslaught from their subconscious. Both boys found themselves in the others arms, shaking, crying, finding comfort in each other. They fell asleep like that, tangled together, connected. They didn’t talk about their dreams, but they understood each other.

It became habit that when one boy woke up with tears in his eyes, gasping for breath, he would crawl into the bed of the other, arms searching for the comfort and warmth of another human being. James and Peter stopped wondering why they often awoke in the same bed. James and Peter never commented, accepting that their friends were just like that.

Eventually, they stopped going to sleep in separate beds. Remus’ bed became both of their bed, both of them sliding under the covers and each other’s arms every night. It helped to keep the nightmares away. 

The only night that Sirius slept in his own bed was when Remus was in the hospital wing after the full moon. Even then, when it was late at night, Sirius would steal James’ Cloak and sneak into the wing. Madame Pomfrey would without fail find the dark haired boy curled up on the same bed as the werewolf. Despite the fact that she always scolded him and shooed him away, she never did anything to change the security measures of the hospital wing. In fact, the door would mysteriously remain unlocked if a certain student happened to be staying the night.

Eventually, when they were older and still sleeping in the same bed every night, they talked about the nightmares. For them, it was the ultimate act of trust, solidifying their bond into something that should have been unbreakable. Remus told Sirius that he was not helpless, that he could and did fight back, that he had a found family that loved him, actually loved him. Sirius insisted that Remus was not a monster, that he’d never killed a human, that he would always be there during the transformations to make sure that Remus remained Remus. Both boys tugged the other closer, squeezing their arms around them, both eternally grateful that they had found each other.

And when they finally realized that what they had was more than friendship, when they finally stuck a label to what they had, no one was surprised. After all, they’d been waking up in the same bed since the age of eleven. After all, they already constantly reached for each other and usually had some sort of physical contact with the other no matter where they were. 

What they had should have been unbreakable, but only a rat could nose its way into the cracks and shake the foundation of trust and love. And suddenly, both boys were forced to sleep without the comfort of the other, one trapped in a cell, the other trapped in himself. Neither of them had any semblance of a sleep schedule after that, both waking up screaming night after night. Finally, Remus sought a potion that would bring him dreamless sleep, knocking himself out every night, ignoring the risks that came with relying on the powerful elixir. Finally, Sirius chose to sleep in his dog form, relying on the more animalistic mind to stave off the nightmares. It only partially worked. 

Sirius had nightmares.

Remus had nightmares.

And they only got worse


	4. Don’t make promises you can’t keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sirius escapes Azkaban, he and Remus have a much needed conversation

Remus sat on the musty couch, hyper aware of the man that was beside him. He fiddled with a loose thread on his robes.

"We should talk." Sirius stated. Remus kept his eyes downcast, refusing to look at him, refusing to give in to what he shouldn't want.

"What about? You're innocent, you're free, and you're safe. You can look after Harry, join the Order, live." Remus replied, his voice monotone.

"Moony," Sirius began, but the other man interrupted him.

"There's nothing to talk about." He insisted.

"Yes there is." Sirius made to put a hand on Remus' shoulder, before pausing and settling his hand back in his lap. The werewolf said nothing, only continued to stare at the ground. "Remus, look at me." He didn't. "What about us, Moony? Where do we stand?"

Again, Remus didn't answer.

Sirius sighed. "Ok, so you don't want to talk about it. I- I guess you moved on. I guess... well, it was twelve years. I don't blame you." He paused, collecting himself, before delving on."I didn't move on. I still... I still love you. I still want you."

A silence stretched for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Remus spoke. "We were teenagers. How do we know it was love?"

"Re-"

"We didn't - don't - know what love feels like," The werewolf continued, "but what else could it be? What else would hurt this much?"

"Twelve years, Remus.” Sirius said. Remus looked at him with a pained expression, but he pressed on. “I was locked away for twelve years, stripped of any and all happiness. Yet, even with all the joy taken away, I still yearned for you. It was just... it hurt. That’s why I could still love you, even when I was surrounded by dementors, because it hurt. And... that’s how I know it was love. Nothing else could have that effect.”

“I don’t want to hear about how I hurt you.”

Sirius groaned in frustration. “You didn’t hurt me! The dementors did! Peter did! None of this is your fault, dammit!”

“But-“

“No, Moony. You listen to me.” Sirius glared, beautiful in his intensity, still capable of taking Remus’ breath away. “Maybe you moved on. I wouldn’t blame you. But don’t you dare blame yourself for anything that happened to me. You never hurt me. I hurt me, dementors hurt, the fucking government hurt me. But you were and always will be the best thing that ever happened to me. Should I live a hundred years, that will still be true. Maybe you don’t want me anymore,” his voice broke, “that’s okay. Just don’t let it be because you think you hurt me. You didn’t. And I’m away from Azkaban, which means that loving you doesn’t hurt like it used to, so please. Don’t blame yourself for anything, especially not for what the dementors did.”

And Remus felt his resolve crumbling until he was leaning forward to rest his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “I should tell you that I did move on. I shouldn’t want you anymore. I should walk away and let you heal. But I’d be lying. I didn’t move on, Sirius. I spent the last decade mourning you, wishing I could hold you again. And now you’re here, and I want you so bad, but I’m scared. Losing you a second time might kill me.”

“Oh, Moons.” Sirius tentatively reached up to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “I promise I’ll never leave you again. Death first.”

“Death counts as leaving.” The other mumbled.

Sirius tightened his grip. “Then I guess I just won’t die.”

Remus laughed once, though the sound was devoid of humor. “Okay. Okay. I want to try again and be with you. I want you, Padfoot.”

“You have me. Forever and always, I’m yours.”

A cautious embrace. A careful peck on a too long neglected forehead. An old flame rekindled. Maybe Remus had found a way to happy again, after all those years. Maybe they would be okay.

Maybe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c
> 
> Find me on other sites
> 
> tumblr: @12dancingwizards  
> insta: @caramelmacchiatoart  
> twitter: @lotorotor

**Author's Note:**

> You can check out my tumblr 12dancingwizards for more hp content


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